From the Spell-Singed Benches of the Broken Die Inn

I’ve heard wizards argue theory for hours.
I’ve seen them consult tomes thicker than shields.
And I’ve watched every last one of them reach the same conclusion when things went sideways.

Fireball.

This “Fireball Is the Answer! What Was the Question?” sweatshirt is for the spellcaster who doesn’t waste time pretending there are other options. Warm, soft, and lined with fleece, it’s made for long nights of study, colder dungeon corridors, and the inevitable post-spell explanations that follow.

It wears comfortably on its own or layered under heavier gear, and it’s sturdy enough to survive travel, taverns, and the occasional singed sleeve.

Best worn by:

• Wizards with high Intelligence and very selective restraint
• Adventurers who solve problems in a 20-foot radius
• Game Masters who saw this outcome coming
• Anyone who believes collateral damage is just part of the math

Innkeeper’s Notes

• Soft cotton face with warm fleece interior
• 65% cotton, 35% polyester blend
• Charcoal Heather: 55% cotton, 45% polyester
• Heavyweight fabric: 8.5 oz/yd² (288.2 g/m²)
• Tightly knit 3-end fleece for durability
• Ribbed crew neck, cuffs, and hem with double-needle stitching
• Side-seamed construction with reinforced back patch

Fit Warning from Bear:
This garment runs a bit snug. If you plan to layer robes underneath — or simply prefer comfort — order one size larger than usual.

Stay warm. Ask fewer questions.
And remember: if the solution isn’t obvious…
you probably haven’t used enough fire.