Crit Happens – 32 oz Insulated Adventure Bottle

Description

From the Road Rack at the Broken Die Inn

I’ve seen brave souls survive dragons, dungeons, and dice that hated them from the start — then collapse because they forgot to drink water.

This “Crit Happens” hydration flask is for adventurers who plan ahead, even when fate doesn’t. Built of double-walled steel and sealed tight, it keeps your drink cold through long marches, hot through chilly watches, and secure when the road turns rough.

The wide-mouth straw folds away clean, so you can sip without spilling — useful when your hands are full of gear or regret. The rotating handle makes it easy to grab and go, and the anti-slip patch keeps it from skidding off tavern tables or dungeon stone.

Best suited for:

• Long journeys and longer days

• Training yards, conventions, and game nights

• Adventurers who’ve learned hydration beats heroics

• Anyone who’s rolled a one and lived to complain about it

Innkeeper’s Notes

• Double-walled stainless steel with vacuum insulation

• 32 oz (950 ml) capacity — enough for even the thirstiest barbarian

• Plastic lid with wide-mouth foldable straw

• Glossy finish

• Rotating carry handle

• Anti-slip patch included

• Height: 9.92″ (25.2 cm)

• Diameter: 3.54″ (9 cm)

Bear’s Warning:
This flask doesn’t belong in dish tubs (dishwashers) or spell circles (microwave ovens). Hand-wash only.

Carry it steady. Drink often.
Because even when the dice turn against you…
hydration is never a critical failure

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!